It seems no where is safe from a zombie invasion. Not even… “The Hood”. Not since Leprechaun in the hood, has there been such horrible atrocities occurring in… “The Hood”. Also, yeah, the tag line is “It’s the end of the world, Yo!”
Mutant Vampire Zombies From The Hood (henceforth referred to as MVZ) is a movie that “stars” C. Thomas Howell. Unless you are some super fan of his, the only thing you probably know him from was “Soul Man” in the mid to late 80’s. I wouldn’t blame you for not knowing he has been in a TON of movies since then. Either way, his stature as a “Star” is debatable. Howell plays a cop that gets caught up in an end of the world scenario while trying to bust “G-Dog” and his “crew” in “the hood”. Apparently a prolonged solar flare hits the Earth and the radiation begins to mutate human cells and DNA to the point where they are, you guessed it, mutant vampire zombies. Anyway, it’s up to Howell to help everyone involved and pretty much save the planet.
So many things wrong/funny about this movie I don’t even know where to begin. I guess to start I could talk about the amount of things MVZ just straight ripped off. The VERY FIRST line of dialog spoken in the film is taken straight from Rush Hour, where Chris Tucker tells Jackie Chan “never touch a black man’s radio”. Then as we pan up to see who is talking it’s couple of cops. One white, one black (not Howell… this time) and an obvious take on the Riggs and Murtaugh dynamic from Lethal Weapon. Later on in the film, G-Dog gets pissed at a bunch of zombies literally fucking and eating his friends and says “I’m tired of these mutha fuckin’ zombies in my mutha fuckin’ hood!” Jeez people.
One of my favorite issues with the film is the “special effects” found with in. The gun shots are pretty much all the same, and they are all digitally inserted. Obviously it cost money to have working replicas of guns that fire blanks, but really it’s worth the extra cash. Most of the actors were just pulling a trigger and then moving their hands like the gun fired. Then the shots that do hit targets apparently move so slow that you hear the shot then have time to pan over to see it hit the target, even when at close range. Also close to the end the “hot doctor” fires an M16 with a standard size clip about 200+ times. I’m no military analyst, but that just seems a bit on the excessive side.
Not a great film by any stretch of the imagination. Bad acting, bad special effects, really no redeeming qualities what so ever. The worst part of MVZ comes at the very end of the credits. This is where we are treated to a line that says “G-Dog and friends will return in Ninja Pirate Werewolves in ‘SPACE!” I am still trying to figure out why there is an apostrophe in front of “space”. No matter why, this just sounds like a horrible idea all around. Though if I had to look on the bright side, at least it’s fodder for another #BullShitMoveOfTheWeek later on down the road.
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