Playing Through The Pain: “Leisure Suit Larry”
- Scott
- Feb 14, 2019
- 3 min read
Updated: Nov 14, 2024
Ok, so I have done a couple of games for this column: one wasn’t that bad, the other was pretty terrible. This one, I think tops them both. Easily the worst game I have played in a while. Where to begin…
Why not start with the tragically ironic name for the game. “Box Office BUST” couldn’t possibly be any more fitting unless it was named “Leisure Suit Larry: Why are you reading this? Run away if you value your sanity at all!” Now that I think about it, I think that one sums it up pretty well too. Also, the fact that it is developed by a group called “Funsta” is very sad. This game was anything but fun.
It’s hard to understand several things about this game. First off, where did they get the budget to hire voice actors like Shannon Elizabeth, Artie Lang, Dave Atell, Jay Mohr and even Peter Graves (of Biography Fame)? I am sure that most of these people probably don’t have a lot on their plate at the moment, but still… The money they spent to get their voices into the game should have been spent to try and make the game fun and playable.
Continuing with the fun… The game itself is damn near unplayable. I don’t mean that it is just a bunch of juvenile tripe sewn together with the thinnest of story plots, so as to move the “story” along, though it’s that too. No, I mean that the game is physically difficult to play. Bear with me now, I use these terms very VERY loosely. Your worst enemy in this game is the camera.
Playing a “platformer” where you jump from place to place with the risk of falling to your death should be pretty forgiving with its camera movements. Not so here. Mid-jump, most of the time, the camera will spin to a new angle perpendicular to where you were before. This is jarring enough to make you push the controller a different direction, thus plunging your character to his death. What makes this worse is the fact that during these segments there is usually a timer going, (even Larry’s “in-game” comments about how the timer isn’t needed) giving you undeserved stress to complete the section with precision. I spent at least an hour trying to get from point A to point B that should have taken me 2 minutes because of the camera issue.
Next up is the graphics themselves. During both of my first two playing sessions with the game, I glitched through a wall or some sort of exterior stationary structure, which caused a mission and sometimes game-ending crash. Besides the camera, the driving mechanics (yes, you read that right) are atrocious. That is really all I will give them time for. Just know they suck and there is NO way to fix them.
Let’s get to the meat of this game, *ahem* the “story.” You play as Larry Lovage the nephew of the original Larry, Larry Laffer. Your uncle owns a large porn movie studio and he hires you on to sniff out a mole in his own studio that works for a rival studio. Seriously… That’s the plot. Anyone that bought or plays this game for “fun” must have a sick twisted grasp on that very word. As for the tween boys that got a hold of this thinking they would see some video game boobage, I feel especially sorry for you. Granted I could only tolerate this game through the first half, but I never saw any “action.” Furthermore, the game actually makes you feel more like a loser because, your in-game character is treated like shit, and walked on for the entire game (I’m guessing). Also thinking about it now, there were lots of ridiculous jokes about sex that would make even the lamest of comedians cringe. There was no real humor, save one line when Larry walks through water that made me giggle every time.
This is truly one of the worst games I have ever played. Considering I have been playing games since before most of you readers were even born and spanning almost three decades, that is a pretty tall order. Never the less, Larry was able to accomplish this feat. I guess congratulations on that… Not only did you ruin several nights of my life, Larry, but you managed to sour my good memories of the previous PC games from the late ’80s.
*Originally posted October 20, 2009, on Games Are Evil.com (no longer active)
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