We’ve come a long way on this journey, haven’t we? So how is it that I arrived at watching this movie? I don’t know… Dumb luck?
Big Tits Zombie is another in the long line of strange Japanese gore films I’ve put myself through. It’s about a group of girls that are exotic dancers in a rural section of Japan. The club they dance for doesn’t really see a lot of customers, much to the detriment of the owner as well as the pockets of dancers. Seeing as how they have a lot of free time, they stumble on a secret door in their dressing room. It leads to an abandoned building across the street. The building is abandoned because apparently the family that ran it committed suicide and now it’s condemned.
As the girls explore the building, they discover lots of interesting things with in, including the book of the dead, Necronomicon Exmortis. The goth girl of the bunch immediately picks it up and begins to recite a passage found with in that raises the dead. Now there are zombies everywhere and they start killing all the girls. However the goth chick figures out how to control them. As the movie continues, there is a bunch of fights with zombies, using swords and chainsaws. A “Blue Ogre” shows up who is apparently “The department head of Hell” and apologizes for the problems caused by the dead. Yup, you read that right.
Where do you really begin to review a movie entitled “Big Tits Zombie” anyway? Let’s cut to the chase here shall we? Big Tits Zombie was made simply to have really hot Japanese girls kill zombies. That’s really it. There was no need for the “story” other than moving the scenes from one fight to the next or one horrible dance number to the next. Taken at face value, the movie executes this perfectly. What I love about this movie (other than the tits) is that they have a Japanese girl that speaks spanish. They are pretty much throw away lines of dialog, but they made me laugh out loud each time. This probably wasn’t the intention of them, but there you have it. Also, this was a subtitled version not dubbed, so I go to hear it come straight from the actresses mouth.
There really isn’t much to savor here. While the girls are attractive (I like the goth girl in particular) they aren’t actresses for sure. There was a lot of boobs, and a lot of blood. I would hesitate to say this is some sort of Onechanbara rip-off but, that doesn’t seem right either. As the movie got close to the the conclusion, I kept waiting for some PSA type moral in the vein of “Attack Girls Swim Team Vs The Undead“. It would not be found, and that was almost more disappointing. Still… there were a lot of boobs. That’s gotta count for something, right?
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