What happens when you make a porn about a Zombie Outbreak, “starring” a famous female porn star, and remove 98% of the actual sex? You get Bloodlust Zombies, starring Alexis Texas.
A nameless company, apparently working for the government, has been working on a secret project. This project will help our troops in Iraq and other wars to win and come home. The secret project is chemical warfare. There has been an apparent “break-through” and now it is ready for mass production. Having received this news, the team immediately celebrates. Naturally, there is an accident in the “lab” and the chemical then turns everyone it touches into mindless zombies.
Bloodlust Zombies is a lot of things, original is not one of them. Taking generously from films like 28 days later, and Shaun of the Dead, it does neither the reverence or justice they deserve. This movie is what happens when porn has no sex. There are a bunch of decent looking girls running around topless, a lot of really bad dialog, and even worse acting. My favorite bit of dialog went like this, verbatim;
Random Dude -“How stupid can you be? The phones are cut off. She couldn’t call for help if she wanted to. We’re like rats in a cage, just like the ones in this lab.” Random Lady -“There are no rats in here.” RD -“I was speaking rehtorically.” RL -“Rhetorical, huh? Didn’t know you could read. Did someone buy you a gift certificate to a book store, or something?” Zombie – “Aaaaaaarrrggghhhh!”
I think you may have to return what ever book it was that you bought with your gift certificate. Pretty sure you aren’t using that word correctly. Also, how bad is it that in that conversation, the zombie comes off as the intelligent one?
Speaking of zombies, this movie has some of the worst looking zombies I have seen in a movie about zombies. I can kinda see what they were going for when the actors are flailing around acting dead and hungry, but they don’t do it well. Most of them just look like they are on the brink of laughter, or an epileptic seizure. The one actor that I actually enjoyed in this entire movie was the security guard. He was the only (mostly) sensible one, and had some of the better lines. Everyone else was pretty much garbage. Alexis Texas (who you may know from such films as “Meet the Fuckers 8” and “Big Ass Crackers”) is billed as the star of this movie, but she should really just stick to doing porn. There’s no joke there, she really should just stay in porn.
I never really had much hope for this movie, which was good because I wasn’t disappointed. Bad acting, bad script, and a horribly over-done plot are really hard to get past just because you have one semi-attractive porn star heading (giggity) up the cast. If you ever watch this movie, tell me that this didn’t start out as an actual porn but they had to change it because of the snuff film rule. It has all the trade marks of a bad porn… not that I would know what those are.
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