High camp with a surprisingly low body count, this John Carpenter/Tobe Hooper collaboration is a bit of a mixed bag.
Originally filmed for the Showtime channel, Body Bags was one of a string of early 90’s horror anthologies hoping to capture some of that sweet Tales from the Crypt popularity. The pedigree here is pretty incredible with legitimate horror icons directing the three segments, but as we learned with the affable but silly Creepshow from the prior decade, that doesn’t always translate into an iconic project. I’m having my own mixed thoughts on whether to recommend this one, so maybe it will be helpful to break down the pros and cons of the film.
Pros:
John Carpenter as the uncouth coroner/Cryptkeeper stand in
Stacy Keach sprouting hair out of his face
Five out of five skulls on the Shudder app
Mark Hamill as a minor league baseball player possessed by an implanted eyeball
Gonzo casting featuring Debbie Harry, Wes Craven, Tom Arnold, Sheena Easton, Sam Raimi and Twiggy
A generous helping of practical blood and gore effects
The general breezy nature of TftC-inspired anthologies
Cons:
Body Bags is a bad movie
Body Bags isn’t scary (but to be fair, it is clearly leaning harder on the comedy aspects than horror)
Body Bags also isn’t funny
You see Mark Hamill’s balls
No, seriously, Mark Hamill’s bare butt and balls are on display in a highly unpleasant sex scene
I mean, I’ll leave it up to you to decide. You might even need to swap around some of those bullets into different categories, depending on your specific proclivities. For me, I ended up liking Body Bags less than Creepshow (but more than Creepshow 2) yet generally had the same sense of apathetic goodwill towards it as I did with its spiritual predecessor. The wrapper segments are pretty fun, and Carpenter makes good sport of the pun-laden hosting despite clearly not having any real acting chops. The first tale, involving a woman working overnight at a gas station while a serial killer is on the loose, is probably the most successful but also the least memorable. The Keach vehicle, “Hair”, and the closing story centered around Hamill’s baseball player are far more nutty and original, although there is a reason they haven’t gone down as horror classics. Still, it’s a treat to see those actors chew on this weird material and try to make something out of it. To be clear, it is unlikely that I’ll ever watch Body Bags again. For as much as I didn’t really enjoy my time watching it, however, I am glad to have done so. As a horror reviewer, it just feels like a movie that I should be familiar with and have as a reference point. Likewise, the bizarre snippets and scenes that are likely to stick with me are ones that I’m happy to have rattling around in my horror-addled brain long into the future. For the more casual fan, you could do far worse, or better, with your precious ninety minutes.
P.S. – My original tag line was going to be “It’s always nice to see more of Mark Hamill, but I wasn’t counting on this. Next time, he should leave his body bag to himself.” Upon brief consideration, however, it felt a little to crass for my Facebook feed. (The two decapitated heads seem fine, though.)
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