Previously posted on blog and written by B. Demeter
Cockneys vs Zombies (2012) is the victim of a lame gimmick and an oversaturated genre.
Overall this is a decent movie. The special effects are on point and the action is passable. The main characters are going to rob a bank to steal enough money to pay off the debts of their grandfather’s retirement home. During the police standoff at the bank, the zombie apocalypse happens. The crew escapes back to their hideout before heading out to save grandpa at the old folks home. The story is nothing special but it is executed adequately.
The movie is trying to straddle the line between comedy, dark comedy, and gore. The standard was defined by the far superior Shaun of the Dead and rarely reached by imitators. I can’t stress enough that this is a watchable film. It starts out like a Guy Ritchie film, turns into Edgar Wright film, and has a stupid mega-happy ending.
It is a bit gimmicky with the whole “cockney” angle. I’m not entirely familiar with what a cockney is besides the unique rhyming slang and being from a particular part of England. Therefore, I couldn’t really tell you if they did a good job portraying the group. There is the occasional ‘apples-and-pairs’ reference but not much more. The movie could have had any number of other names and it would have worked just as well; maybe better, because with a different title I wouldn’t feel like the moviemakers were trying to make this film appear special. I would suggest “Generic Zombie Movie: East End of London”.
Also, the zombie genre is dead (no pun intended). I will always love zombie movies. I love the premise of unrelenting, inescapable creeping death. But I’m aware enough to recognize the well has run dry. There are few films coming out with the societal gravitas of Dawn of the Dead or Shaun of the Dead in the zombie genre. Now a days the movies are pumped out, cookie cutter style. Characters, location, varying level of supplies and weapons, add zombies; mix well, bake for a few days, and you’ve got a horror movie. And this movie suffers from that formula. None of the characters are well developed. Most are stereotypes. The retired gangster, the PTSD veteran, the well-meaning bank robbers; they all seems so shallow.
I have to mention the end of the film because it sucked so bad. The crew is making their final escape on a boat. The boat is still chained to the dock so grandpa sacrifices himself to go undo the line. He unhooks the chain, gets swarmed by zombies, end of story… Until a second later when he miraculously starts shooting his way out of the group of zombies. Grandpa hops back on the boat and starts waxing about how London will rebuild because the British are scrappers, blah, blah, blah. Stupid ending like this always make me think of Wayne’s World and the mega-happy ending. Grandpa didn’t have to survive this film and in any other ending he wouldn’t have.
I guess now a days all I want out of a zombie movie is a minimally interesting story and good effects. This movie has both. Two thumbs up!
P.S. This film, like most British films, reminds me how I really want to incorporate the term “muppet” into daily conversations. It always sounds so cool but rarely do I have a chance to use it. One day it’ll happen.
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