Somewhere someone saw Who Framed Roger Rabbit, and Cool World and thought well… what if we did a horror movie? Enter a producer and you have Evil Toons.
A group of four girls are tasked with helping to clean up a derelict house. All they have to do is spend one night cleaning for the new owners. In the morning they will get picked up and earn a cool $100 EACH! The girls set about their task, albeit begrudgingly, and naturally, they start in the basement. After moving a bunch of boxes they uncover an old trunk with a warning written in a language they can’t read. Upon opening it, they find a skull, a dagger, a blanket, and not much else. They head back upstairs and continue cleaning. At nightfall, the girls are relaxing when the doorbell rings, and waiting for them outside is a trenchcoat-wearing creepy man. He hands them a package and no matter what they ask all he replies with is “Delivery.”
Even though the house nor the package is theirs, the girls decide the best course of action is to open it to see exactly what it is. What they find is a large book. The outside looks to be bound in human skin, and the inside is full of strange graphic pictures and passages written in a language most of them don’t understand. The one “nerdy” girl of the group is brought in to read what she can of the inscriptions. As she reads the words she unknowingly unleashes a demon trapped inside the book. A cartoon demon.
Evil Toons plain and simple, knows exactly what it wants to be and is unapologetic about it. This movie is, in spite of it having an actual “cartoon” demon in it, a live-action cartoon for “adults.” I say “adults” in quotes because if you watch Evil Toons you soon realize it was made strictly for early-teen boys. Granted it has an “R” rating but is simply because of the sheer amount of time that women’s large breasts and butts bounce across the screen. There was some blood, and some swearing, but come on… it’s the boobs. Brushing aside the massive mammaries displayed here, the rest of the film is just silly. The sound effects are Hannah-Barberra-level silly. There’s at least one scene where one of the girls is scared and her ponytail stands on end while a comedic whistle blows. It’s truly silly stuff. Not the least bit scary, but I think that is almost intentional.
The rest of Evil Toons is varying degrees of boring and oddly fascinating. For the most part, the actresses specifically look bored and can’t wait to get paid and get out. Which is ironically the same as the characters they play. So maybe they are phenomenal actresses, really. The male leads are all guys you have probably seen before. From the start, there is David Carradine whose introduction to the film is him hanging himself. To say that that is a bit of foreshadowing would be an understatement. Then there is Dick Miller. You might not know him by name but I can almost guarantee when you see him you will uncontrollably say “Oh, that guy.” because he is that kind of actor. I did like the bit of him watching one of his old movies (pretending it’s not just him) saying “How come they never gave that guy an Oscar?”
If you don’t care to see 80s boobs displayed on your TV for long periods of time and don’t care for any “horror” in your horror movie, this is okay, at best. This feels like a movie that would be playing in the background of another horror movie as the party is going on or people walk through the scene. It’s not good enough to really pay your full attention to, but at a glance, it’s literally worth a look. I will say this, the ending is truly amazing. Legitimately. The movie ends basically saying “None of this really happened.” Just… wow.
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