Go ahead and read the tag line again… one more time… Still doesn’t make sense does it? What it does do very well however is set you up for a totally confusing and ridiculous movie that is “Full Moon High”.
Full Moon High is about a high school kid, Tony (played by Adam Arkin) that is the star quarterback. The week before the “big game” his dad (played by Ed McMahon) takes him on a trip to Transylvania. While dad is banging hookers, Tony is forced to walk around town. One night he gets lost and ends up getting bitten by a Werewolf. Naturally that means he is now a werewolf. He then misses the big game, is forced to walk the Earth (like Kane in Kung-Fu) apparently biting girls on the ass and thus causing newspapers to print horrible pun headlines. Never aging, but he also never feels any real emotion either, until he returns home and sets his life straight again. When he returns some 30 years later, everything has changed including all his friends and his school. He tries to re-enroll and play in the game thinking that this will break the curse. It doesn’t. He gets shot, is thought dead and apparently just left to rot. Only to get back up saying “because of inflation, it takes a lot more than 6 silver bullets to stop a werewolf now.” That’s pretty much how the movie mercifully ends.
Not surprisingly this movie came out probably to try and capture some of the werewolf fever that “American Werewolf in London” had stirred up. It had a lot of “star” power connected to it. Other than Adam Arkin and Ed McMahon Full Moon High also had Alan Arkin, Pat Morita, Demond Wilson (Lamont from Sanford and Son) and even had one of the first appearance of Bob Saget. There were some genuinely funny parts, or at least a few lines, in the movie, but not enough to make this something to seek out.
Full Moon High could easily have been and inspiration for Teen Wolf that came out a few years later. It never took itself seriously enough as a comedy, but also never went far enough to be a true parody. Several lines were read so poorly that it was like they had no prior knowledge of them and were reading from cue cards. Several scenes were so completely random they had absolutely no business being in the film at all. Not to mention that the editor seems to have been asleep during most of post production. It’s literally a bunch of horrible scenes and one liners cobbled together to try and make money. Also it’s strange that a movie that portrays itself as this over sexualized teen aged romp has absolutely no bare breasts in it, and little to no ridiculous 80’s comedic sex scenes. Weird.
All said and done this is a movie that ended with the clear intention to do a sequel. Thankfully that was never green-lit. Then again they did make Teen Wolf. Maybe if it had a guy in it named “Stiles” who wore a shirt that read “What are you looking at, Dicknose?” Full Moon High would have been a success. Probably not though.
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