Previously posted on blog and written by B. Demeter
If you like movies titled Godzilla but don’t actually like seeing Godzilla, have I got a movie for you!
This movie pushes the limit of how little screen time the movie monster can get in it’s own movie. I swear there is more Godzilla in that freaking Snickers’ commercial than this movie.
The movie opens with b-roll of atomic bomb testing in the 1940s. At least that is what the reports say. In reality, the testing was a cover for the military blowing the absolute shit out of Godzilla. I had honestly thought they succeeded and that is why Godzilla wasn’t’ in the movie.
Want to know who is in this movie? Bryan Cranston. He is the dad of the guy from Kickass. And the guy from Kickass is married to the third Olsen sister. The movie focuses on these characters for the most part. They’re not bad- they’re just not Godzilla. This issue taints the whole movie. No matter how well acted it may have been, every human scene reminds you that you’re not watching a monster and haven’t seen any in a while.
So, after they seemingly took out G-zilla, a quasi-military/NATO group finds two massive cocoons deep within the earth. One is whole, the other cracked open; which implies that a new big ass monster is on the loose. Shortly thereafter a disaster happens at a Japanese nuclear power plant. Everything is vague. You’re not really sure if the monster did it or if it was a natural disaster. Regardless, the area is closed off due to supposed radiation pollution.
That is the set up. After that the movie jumps ahead 15 years to current day. The guy from Kickass is in the US military, his wife the third Olsen sister is a nurse, and they have a son (just to ratchet up the peril in the final act). Bryan Cranston is a nut job conspiracy theorist that believes the disaster in Japan (which caused the death of his wife) was the result of something and he is convinced that something is going to happen again.
I don’t want to go any further into the story because I don’t really care. There are two new monsters out in the world that suck up energy and emit electromagnetic pulses. The monsters our out there tearing shit up- just moving the plot along until the eventual battle royal at the end.
The first real fight scene that they set up is in Hawaii. New monster is there munching on a Russian nuclear submarine. G-Man rolls up in a tsunami. When the camera finally pans up to show you Godzilla in all his glory it quickly jumps to the next day and the little kid watching quick highlights of the fight on the news. The movie is jerking you off, thinking you’re going to see a badass monster fight scene, then right before the money shot they cut away.
I literally cursed out my TV when that happened.
Eventually there is a showdown between the beasts but it is too little too late in my opinion. Also, the movie is so dark that I couldn’t see what the hell was going on anyway. I really wanted to like this movie but there just isn’t enough Godzilla in this Godzilla movie for me to care. When it is no screen, the Godzilla effects look awesome but it just reminds you of how little you’re seeing it.
Geeze, for as bad a movie as it was, at least Godzilla had a starring role in the Matthew Broderick, 1998 version. The 2014 version is incredibly disappointing.
Nothing proves my point as well as this: Godzilla (2014) has a run time of 123 minutes. There is a compilation video on the internet of all the Godzilla scenes and it is barely 8 minutes long.
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