What a perfect way to start a Horror Movie Marathon. Not saying that the movie is great, actually the opposite. “Meat Market” is directed by a dude and stars a bunch of other dudes, don’t worry, you have never heard of them. This is one of those films that was done on the most minimalistic of budgets, and it shows.
First off, I want to start by saying that I am not knocking the fact that this movie was made. I wish I could get all my friends together, bang out a “script”, find locations, time and money to shoot. It would be damn near impossible. It just isn’t that great of a film, period. As Brian (of Movie-Scum.com fame) pointed out to me, it is a not so subtle nod to “A modest Proposal” with a zombie twist.
The short version goes like this; Zombies are popping up all over. They are feeding on the homeless and bottom feeders (pardon the pun) of the world. Seeing as how the zombies are “cleaning up around the city” no one cares, and lets them do what they do best, kill. However they soon start to out number the living beings on the planet and thus, the zombie apocalypse occurs. That in and of itself would be fine as a story, but it doesn’t just stop there. Other than the main characters that are hunting down and killing zombies while saving the humans, there are a number of supporting character archetypes. For starters there is the Scientist trying to cure what he created, laser totting lesbian vampires, the military, and even a Mexican wrestler. Yup you read all those right.
This movie attempts to throw in every single horror movie cliche’ in one 90min film. Most of which overlap each other so much so that it becomes comical. Teenagers having (dry humping) sex while the world ends around them, work out montages, and lots of showers and tits. Oh and the zombies, all caused by nanotech robots. Yeah, I didn’t see that one coming either.
What I will commend the director on here is finding a set to use. Obviously it was an soon to be torn down building, what with all the giant spray painted “X” on most of the walls. It must have been a lot of looking or sheer dumb luck to find one that also had jail cells in it. Also I would personally like to say thanks for finding “vampires” that talk with a lisp, Hilarious. Oh and the guy that actually was able to get a mic on all the girls pants so I could hear them “swish” in painful clarity each time they walked.
Considering this movie was 1. Made at all 2. has been put up on netflix and 3. and several sequels I guess he must have done something right, I just can’t seem to see what it is. If you are bored and have nothing better to do, I guess if you were drunk this movie would be good. Maybe if you get drunk enough either the movie will be great or you will just fall asleep, either way…
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