I watched this whole movie with this look on my face.
This movie is something else. Most Horror movies start a zero and then ramp up the kill count all leading to the final scene. Not here. Oh no.
Yes it’s that time of year once again. Time to turn off my brain, kick back and watch some of the most insane, terrible, and sometimes amazing movies. This is lucky year number thirteen of me doing this. Buckle up… it’s likely gonna be a bumpy ride.
On a golf course somewhere in sunny California, a man and his lady friend are out with their team of bodyguards to play a round. Things are going well until the man hits his ball only slightly off the fairway. His team of goons is enlisted to help him locate the ball and upon doing so find that a ninja has been stalking them. The bodyguards go on high alert, they are quickly dealt with and the man and his companion are slaughtered easily. The fight however does NOT stop there and instead spills out into the larger town area where a helicopter, and a seemingly endless supply of police cars and motorcycles are destroyed by the single ninja.
Cornered and barely clinging to life the ninja finally succumbs to his multiple wounds and dies. Or so the police think. He has actually disguesed himself and managed to evade capture. Stumbling through the yucca plants of city whatever-you-want-it-to-be, the ninja comes across Chrissy a female phone/power line worker. There’s a small scuffle and he manages to transfer his soul “Chucky-style” in to Chrissy and this time he actually dies. The story and insanity of Ninja III: The Domination has only just begun.
I’ll be honest right from the start here, I don’t technically think this is a horror movie. However, when looking on Aamzon Prime Video, it was listed as such and it does have some demon possession as well as a hefty body count, so I’m gonna allow it.
Ninja III: The Domination is so 80s that it quite literally made me sick. There is so much neon in Chrissy’s room that there would be no way she could sleep there. She does dance aerobics at one point in sweats, her boyfriend is a hairy-backed gorilla cop, the hairstyles… and yes, even the one sex scene that almost made me ill. It should have had a content warning because there is NOTHING sexy about pouring a V8 juice down your chest and letting a man lick it up. NOTHING.
At no point in thei movie was anything truly horrific (baring the V8 scene) and other than the incredible body count of the very first scene, it was basically just a dumb 80s action movie. The script is also pretty gross as Chrissy falls for the cop that is basically stalking her and the turning point for her is when he get violent because she won’t date him. This is the kind of movie that would be playing in the background of another movie, or in a TV show when they just wanted something going on. Not a lot of any redeemable qualities at all, honestly. Well… except for a small roll for Jame Hong. Sure it’s a fun watch when you have nothing else to do, but don’t expect a lot of return on your investment in this cocaine-fueled ride to neon hell.
Comments