So I never thought I would watch a movie about a killer dick. After seeing one, I never thought I would do that again. What’s the saying “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.” Yeah… Well more surprising is that this one actually was decent. You know, given the source… material.
One-Eyed Monster is about a group of people going into the mountains to make a porno. A bunch of fresh faced kids, and two old pro’s in the industry are looking to get away to a secluded area away from distractions and bang out a movie over the course of a weekend. Everything is going fine until a strange light in the sky strikes Ron Jeremy (yes… THAT Ron Jeremy). Ron then goes back into finish a scene only to find out his cock has been possessed, apparently. He severely “injures” the woman he had a scene with, oh and his dick comes off of his body, killing him in the process. Ron’s member then goes around killing everyone until the crazy Vietnam vet from over the mountain shows up with a plan to kill it.
Now, trust me, I know how dumb all this sounds, but oddly, the movie pulls it off. This is one of those rare cases where the movie takes itself just serious enough, even with a totally outlandish plot like this, that it works. While the two biggest (giggity) stars in the movie are Ron Jeremy and Charles Napier (RIP) the guy that pulls off the best part is a guy named Jason Graham. I wouldn’t say that his performance was Oscar worthy or anything, but he definitely sold it. Jason plays the role of Jonah, an ex-Army Ranger and current porno camera man. He is the cool head (giggity) in the group and is able to think his way through things and try his best to save lives. Save them from Ron’s killer dick.
I’m not saying that you will see this film on any AFI list in the near future, but it wasn’t as bad as the plot would lead you to believe. It was kinda like Dead Snow, only instead of undead Zombies, it’s about a killer cock. Given the choice between being forced to watch Pervert or One-Eyed Monster again, I would choose this, hands down. I’ve talked so much about Ron Jeremy and dicks recently I feel like I need to go watch a marathon of Gimmie A Break to counter-balance everything.
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