I really don’t know what is more offensive, the characters in this movie, or the thought that someone found this entertaining enough to make a damn movie out of it in the first place.
I guess I should start this by saying this is not a movie that is really safe for work place environments. It’s chock full of tits. Seriously. You can’t make it through the opening credits without them being thrown in your face over and over again. And while I am a big fan of the upper halves of women’s bodies, it’s just too much. It almost feels strange to say that, but it’s true. This is how Pervert starts, and pretty much how it continues until the sad pitiful end.
Pervert is a story about a boy that goes to live with his father during summer vacation from his college. The dad apparently lives, almost literally, in the middle of nowhere. When the son arrives, he is greeted by dad’s new love interest. A rather well endowed woman named … who cares. So dad and Tits McGee are all about banging each other, naturally. As it is painfully shown on film, she is not easily satisfied by father and then starts to go after the son.
Skipping ahead a bit… Apparently the kid was cursed by a VooDoo witch. You see, he went to her to gain some charisma and be a bit smoother with the ladies, but she cursed him. As VooDoo witches are wont to do. What’s his curse you might ask? Well, apparently at night his dick jumps off his body and then rapes any woman within a 5 mile radius… to death. Yup.
Oh and did I mention that the father is bat shit crazy? Well, he is. He has “meat sculptures” in a shed on his farm. He takes meats like bacon, ground beef, chicken and sausages and forms them into a mold of the female form. It’s probably one of the worst attempts at a joke ever put to film.
Anyway, as you might have already guessed, this movie is atrocious. Russ Meyer and Roger Corman would be ashamed of this film. Sure, it’s got tits galore, plenty of blood, and enough terrible sexual innuendos and double entendres but it doesn’t matter when the entire package is utter bull shit. Also the claymation cock and balls (complete with face and all) running around killing women is straight out of “Better off Dead”. Seriously, I kept waiting for a cheeseburger singing a Van Halen song to pop up at some point.
This is the movie that actually got me thinking about doing this ongoing section of the site. So in that respect, I guess it’s great that it was made. But in EVERY OTHER FACET of it’s existence, it is garbage and not worth anyone’s time. Unless, I guess, you happen to be a eleventeen year old that doesn’t have the internet. Which… seems unlikely given this article is written on and displayed on said environment.
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