It’s killer piranha. That’s what’s in the water, isn’t it?
Why not start this movie marathon off right? Piranha is a remake of sorts of the original Joe Dante classic “Piranha” from the late 70’s. Naturally it was shown in 3D (’twas the style at the time) and is probably more comedy than horror movie, really.
IT’S SPRING BREAK WOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! At least it is in Lake Victoria, Arizona. Spring break and water means that college kids will be there, drinking, playing in the water, and getting naked. Little do they know, “something is in the water” in Lake Victoria.
Lonely old fisherman Matt Boyd, played by Richard Dreyfuss (I know, I know) is out fishing one day when he apparently causes an earthquake with a beer bottle. This quake not only rips a huge fissure in the bottom of the lake but causes a whirlpool. This wouldn’t be so bad except that this giant crack in the lakes bottom releases a school of prehistoric blood-thirsty piranha. Poor old Matt is the first victim, but you can bet the bank, he won’t be the last.
Seeing as how it’s spring break the college kids are all there to just have a good time and drink and cavort as much as possible. Along on this disasterous trip is a group of people looking to make a version of “Girls Gone Wild” on the lake. They take a local kid along to help scout locations and he has to ditch his responsibilities babysitting his younger siblings to do so. Yup, sounds about right for a tragic day at the lake.
Piranha is about a killer fish attack on a somewhat quiet town. This alone should tell you that there will be lots of blood, confused cops, and at least one crazy old-timer that has a solution. The cops are played by Elizabeth Shue, who looks pretty good for her age, and Ving Rhames, who will die in just about any movie he is in. Shue’s son is left in charge of his little brother and sister, but he quickly ditches that idea to go on a boat with naked chicks and a very coked up Jerry O’Connell. When the shit hits the fan, Jake (Shue’s son) steps up and becomes the hero and Jerry O’Connell screams like a woman, and had his dick bitten off.
Look, I’m not going to tell you that this movie is made for anything other than gore and laughs, because that would be wrong. Piranha is completely over the top and has more blood in the water than some really disgusting analogy I refuse to make. At one point Ving Rhames starts a scene by shooting fish out of the air with a shotgun and ends it by chopping them up with an out-board motor from a boat. Simply put, this movie is awesome. Just don’t go into it expecting much more than what the poster is promising you, and you should be fine. Jerry O’Connell steals every scene he is in. Please Hollywood, put this man in more horror movies… or his brother.
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