Every year I at least try to find a horror movie with the word “massacre” in the title. Some are good, some are bad, they are all movies. This is another one.
Blair is a beautiful and popular socialite who’s parents are going away for vacation. Naturally she is going to throw a big pool party for her friends at the family mansion. She invites all her best friends to come over and hang out by the pool, drink, and just have a good time. Tough Blair is not exactly the nicest of people, she fits in well with her other friends that are also trash people. The lone exception being her “best friend” Nancy. Nancy is a good girl that only hung around Blair because Blair’s parents were nice to her and treated her well. Blair’s parents hold her up against her brother Blaine, who can do no wrong. This family dynamic creates a lot of tension and mistrust in them all.
So Blair’s “friends” all show up and are immediately rude and catty to everyone. One invites her boyfriend over, one refuses to get her hair wet, one can’t get off her phone… They are all the worst of the worst. Then someone else unexpectedly shows up, unannounced and starts killing off everyone. The unknown killer has no known motive and systematically murders the party-goers one by one. Arguably making the party much more fun.
Sometimes just having a bunch of attractive people in barely any clothing isn’t enough to make a movie. Trope after trope after trope is found in this send up to other “massacre movies” of the early to mid 80s. Look… I like those old movies too. They are corny, and full of nonsense and they are fun slasher films. I know a lot of people want to pay homage to them. I get it, I really do. However, those movies were made with the idea that they would be huge one day and they put their heart and soul into them, no matter how bad. This movie (as well as many more I’ve watched over the years) just want to make a movie to be like them, never actually capturing what made the originals good in the first place.
I respect what they were attempting to do. I can see the vision they had in mind when they started out making this movie. They got it made, and they got it out. For me, personally I think the main thing that separates all these new films from the classics is that they are all in on the joke. Let’s make a dumb slasher movie and it’ll be fun to see how dumb we can make it. That doesn’t work. Friday the 13th part 6 isn’t good because they were making a joke movie, it was good because they were making a movie that had jokes. Pool Party Massacre is decent in it’s attempt, but I just don’t think it should ever leave the shallow end.
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