This movie is crazy… in just all kinds of ways. I love that horror movies can always take an otherwise happy holiday and make it insane as an outhouse rat.
As you may have noticed right from the poster, Santa’s Slay is produced by Brett “Rush Hour” Ratner, and it stars Bill Goldberg… yes THAT Goldberg. If that wasn’t crazy enough here is the plot; which is explained during the movie in an AWESOME bit of stop animation in the vein of the 1964 classic “Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer”. A thousand years ago the son of Satan (Santa) came to Earth to wreak havoc, and an angel from heaven met him. They made a little wager with together. If Santa won he could continue his rampage, but if the angel won, Santa would have to spend 1000 years being nice to every child on Earth and bring them toys. You can guess who won. So now, exactly 1000 years after the bet, Santa is ready to start up his reign of terror again.
Having Santa the apparent spawn of Satan played by Bill Goldberg is genius. Not that he is a great actor or anything but it’s just that he is the polar opposite of what you normally think of when Santa is mentioned in conversation. The movie begins as a family of spoiled rich people are sitting down to a holiday meal. The family made up of James Caan, Fran Drescher, Chris Kattan, and Rebecca Gayheart. This first scene is what sold me. Why? Because Santa lights Drescher on fire then drowns her in eggnog. Thank you. From here the cameos keep going Dave Thomas (Doug McKenzie) plays a perverted preacher (or just a preacher I guess) and Tommy ‘Tiny’ Lister plays a gas station attendant.
It’s not particularly well written, there are a lot of bad puns, and worse one-liners (Ho Ho Ho Hoes) but it was just so off the wall that I couldn’t stop watching it. It was just strange seeing film vets like Jame Caan and even Robert Culp involved in such an insane movie alongside Goldberg. Santa’s Slay is one of those movies that you can just veg out in front of. No need to pay attention to plot points or acting styles, just turn the movie on and turn your brain off. One word of advice stay away from the “stinger” at the end of the credits, it’s SUPER lame.
Comments