Well, I’ve watched movies about a killer Turkey, a killer sofa, a bed, a video game system, a car and so much more. So why not watch one about killer pants?
At the ultra-trendy clothing store “Canadian Cotton Clothiers” or CCC for short, they pride themselves on “making a better tomorrow today.” How do they do that? They only use “organic, ethically sourced, GMO-free” cotton from India. Their workers are part of fair trade and sweatshop-free working force. To say that they portray a safe, diverse, and aware image would be an understatement. They are about to release their newest line called “Super Shapers.” These jeans are thermally activated to conform to your different body shapes to make you look your absolute best in them. It’s going to revolutionize the fashion industry.
Libby is looking for a stable job and has always wanted to work for CCC. Today she makes that happen. It just so happens that today is the day that the store is stocking overnight for the new “Monday Madness” sale of the new Super Shapers. She and her co-workers will all be working through the night to get the story and its products ready to open the doors at 8am. They even have the hottest new influencer Peyton Jules coming in to do a live stream from the store at midnight. Everything is going fine. That is until one of the girls, Jemma, decides to take a pair of the new jeans and wear them when she hasn’t purchased them. What she doesn’t know is that the pants she just slid her legs into are possessed by the spirit of a cotton field worker looking for justice for her untimely death.
Yup, you read that last sentence correctly possessed jeans. So it turns out that when they were growing an experimental strand of cotton (which isn’t really addressed) one of the underage workers in the fields was horrifically killed in an accident. She was only thirteen and she wants justice for her death. She plans to exact that justice by killing everyone who tries on, or really is even in the same room as, these new jeans. It sounds absolutely ridiculous, and it is, but the movie manages to pull this plot off well. Granted the subject matter is just as stupid as it sounds, but it takes itself very seriously and also manages to create a feeling of you rooting for them. The jeans, I mean.
By the time the movie really started hitting its stride, pun intended, I was all in for them to just start slaughtering everyone on camera. Other than Libby and eventually Shruti, everyone else in that film deserved what they got. Just some of the absolute worst people. I still can’t make up my mind if I hated the influencer or the store manager more. It was a very close match between two very terrible people.
The rest of the film was perfectly fine. The effect of the pants killing its victims was effective while still being just the right amount of cheesy. It was all acted well, maybe too well, and written in a way that conveyed current corporate culture and social norms without being full of slang and cringy dialog. Slaxx is also very well edited and the way that they create the commercial look of CCC was spot on. This is a dumb movie about an inanimate object coming to life to murder a ton of people in terrible and bloody ways. I really liked it. It was originally on Shudder but I think you can find it on other services at this point. I think it’s good, but why not try it on for size and see what you think.
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