On my quest to watch a movie one night that just had mindless killing and boobs, I stumbled upon the soft, pillowy, satin covered goodness of Slumber Party Massacre. Sadly this movie promised a lot, but delivered on very little.
Slumber Party Massacre is a movie starring women, about women, written by a woman, and directed by a woman. Just look at the poster. None of the names on there are male. The only thing male about the whole movie is the dude standing over the scantily clad women with an obvious phallic symbol that is his murder weapon… a drill. A killer is on the loose, and he has started murdering a bunch of teachers and students at a high school. One of the girls decides to throw a “Slumber Party” while her parents are away. Inviting a bunch of her girl friends over they order a pizza and expect to have a fun night doing their hair and talking about boys, or what ever it is that girls do when they gather in groups. Well guess who shows up unexpectedly. Yup, Johnny drill killer. After taking out most of the girls, and the peeping tom boys, the murderer eventually gets his. Roll credits. It’s a horror movie from the 80’s, what else do you want.
Well as far as getting a horror movie with boobs, I guess I can’t complain but so much. Literally seconds into the film the lead girl takes her top off. Again, literally two minutes later, a girl is murdered. So there you go. I guess I could have stopped the movie a mere 5 mins in, and accomplished my goal. I did not, however, and continued to watch till the bloody end. There really was nothing notable about this movie, save one scene and one other thing– the killer.
The one scene I am referring to is probably the only part of the movie where I really laughed out loud. So the girls are all in their night shirts and undies or whatever and two boys are peeping at the window. They are talking in a normal tone of voice, and not whispering at all. One of the girls takes two steps from where they are sitting in the floor and dumps and ashtray out. Nothing weird about that. Except that the window is the same one that the boys were just ogling the girls through and talking in front of… oh, and the window just happens to be open. It is just a throw away scene but it made me laugh at the sheer absurdity of it all. Ah, 80’s horror movies, you sure to know how to make me laugh.
So to reiterate here, the murderer is killing girls with a drill. Dude just starts murdering people with a drill of all things. This is probably the most impractical murder weapon since the … the … I dunno something ridiculous like an Ice Skate like in Halloween H2O, or better yet, any of the deaths in Halloween 3: Season of the Witch. Anyway, so he kills a bunch of girls. Then he is about to kill one of the last ones in the house and what does he do? He opens his mouth and starts talking. There is something to be said about the silent killer. You never know what he is thinking. He never gives you a reason for his rampages. He isn’t human, without a voice. So dude talks, and first off he has an almost effeminate voice and tone. Kinda creepy, but in an entirely different way. Second, he says something to the effect of “You really want this. I love you.” … something like that. It doesn’t really matter because he blew all credibility as a drill wielding maniac when he said ANYTHING.
Slumber Party Massacre is (naturally) the first in a series of horror movies with the same name. Amazingly I had never seen any of them until that night. Seeing screens from the later movies in the series, I know I need to see them as well. Maybe watching a movie about a murderer that kills a bunch of girls with a drill will be better knowing that the drill is on the end of a fucking electric guitar. Probably not, but here’s hoping.
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