Swarm of the Snakehead didn’t have a really tall mountain to climb to beat 2014s Blood Lake, and yet it still couldn’t manage that. I’ll try to keep the fish puns to a minimum.
A very busy business woman is driving in the dead of night while talking on her cell phone. She is viciously attacked by a snakehead fish. As she tries to defend herself against the fish, … *sigh Look, sometimes you just don’t need to give the background for a movie. Swarm of the Snakehead is about just that; a swarm of snakehead fish terrorizing a fishing town. The rubber fish descend on the quiet lakeside town by the hundreds. They are able to walk, they are vicious, blood-thirsty, and require a lot of help by their victims to look like they are alive at all. I read a lot of the Amazon reviews for this movie and my only conclusion is that almost every one of them was written by someone connected to the film. I saw people saying it was hilarious (un-ironically). People saying that it reminded them of when movies were campy and the budgets didn’t matter. Well, that’s your opinion, but I strongly disagree. The writing is beyond cheesy. The jokes are all flat and you can see the punchline coming a mile away. It also has probably one of, if not THE worst acting/casting I have ever seen in a movie. The dad in the film was written as a local kid returning to his home town years later. Apparently he was a real piece of work before he left, but now… he makes the dad from Modern Family look like a true rebel. Seriously. Mr. Rogers would have called this guy a pussy. Oh, and just about all the dialog is ADR. So that always makes for a fun watch. If you have absolutely zero to do, you’re drunk and on amazon, and your dog just got hit by a car… there are far better things to make you feel worse about yourself than watching this pile. I cannot think of anything that redeems this movie. Even Gunnar Hansen (Leatherface) has a terrible role, and one of the most bizarre deaths in the movie, that also makes zero sense. Stay away… far away. I’m starting to think that Amazon is possibly worse for independent B-Movie horror than Netflix, and I watched Mons-Turd.
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