Well if you can’t tell what kind of movie this is simply by what is on the cover of the box, then allow me to explain all the key ingredients.
This is another in the long line of Troma movies. Troma isn’t known for producing Oscar worthy movies. Most use bare-bones sets,scripts, as well as special effects to tell a story. That is what they are known for. Since they live outside the mainstream they usually make films “the way they want them made”. Some times this is great, like in the case of Toxic Avenger. However sometimes they are huge flops like in the case of Tales From The Crapper.
This is (obviously) a play on the old television serial “Tales from the Crypt”, even going so far as to have Lloyd Kaufman play the character “The Crap Keeper”. It’s broken up into two main stories, with a 15 mins commercial for Lloyd’s book “Make Your Own Damn Movie” in the middle of the two.
The first story is called *sigh* “The Case of the Melon Heavy Alien Man Eater” … and it stars Julie Strain. These are really bad so I will keep the synopsis as short as possible. Story one is about a killer alien that attacks men and women in a strip club. There is lots of boobs, lots of fake blood and an over abundance of horrible acting.
Then there is the commercial for Lloyd’s book. In it he talk about how simple it is to make a movie and does so in the span of about 15 mins. Which is good, because it is about all I can take of him, really.
Story two is called “Tuition of the Terror Twat” and once again stars Julie Strain. Also in this one is a veritable smorgasbord of actors and directors. Also playing a rather large role in this movie is Jorge “Hurley” Garcia. He plays the best friend of Timmy. They all graduated from high school and are looking forward to college and all the fun that comes with it. Problem is that Timmy doesn’t have money to go to college. The solution apparently is to have a “Stripper Party” to raise money for tuition. Unfortunately the “strippers” they hire turn out to be vampires… imagine that. As the party starts to really get going the strippers start killing everyone. This is where the movie gets oddly funny. At this party there just happens to be all manner of people that you have seen before. Just to name a few there’s Ron Jeremy (sure why not), Eli Roth, Wes Craven, Ted Raimi, and Trey Parker. They are all just kinda hanging out at the party and die. Oops, I spoiled the ending.
These “movies” are really bad, even for a Troma flick. A part from the gratuitous blood, guts, and boobs, there was an annoying amount of fake fart noises. Now yes I realize that it’s called “Tales from the Crapper” but really, it’s just not funny. Also Julie Strain’s wigs are way out of control. I guess maybe if I was a eleventeen year old kid this would be a dream come true, but… I’m not. The one recurring joke that I did enjoy was that every time there was a TV in the room or a radio on in a car, the theme song for “Cannibal Lesbian Hoedown” was playing. Sure it’s just as crude and crass a joke as the farts, but at least it’s creative. I took the liberty of including the track at the bottom. Enjoy the song, but stay away from the movie.
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