The Vanquisher is yet another one of those movies that came up when looking at “related movies” through netflix. My initial reaction to the poster was that it could possibly be one that would be decent and not really meant for this category. However seeing that it had only a two star rating, coupled with the fact it is from the same people that did “The Protector” I knew that in fact it was PERFECT for this.
Before I get into anything regarding the movie, I feel like I should explain that I love foreign action flicks. I have watched them for years thanks to the guidance of Brian. Not only that, but I would actually rather watch a subtitled foreign movie than one that has been dubbed. Dubbed movies have a way of muddying up the plot through dialog changes. Subtitled movies usually are much more faithful to the overall story and dialog.
I would love to tell you what exactly is going on in this movie, really I would. However I have no fucking clue what the hell happened at all. It would appear that it has something to do with revenge. Also at some point someone mentions that “files” have been “hacked from the Vice Presidents office”. What exactly those files are, really isn’t explained. By the end of the movie it appears that it is more about terrorists and starting a war. I… I really don’t know. Also, do all Taiwanese police carry guns AND samurai swords? Seems like one would do better over the other. That being said, according to the Thai Wikipedia page for “The Vanquisher” the movie plot is as follows:
“Beautiful CIA agent Genja has just completed a covert operation in southern Thailand. She then finds herself the target of an assassination attempt by her own organization. Genja is able to survive the assassination and lays low for two years. She then re-emerges in Bangkok to gain vengeance …”
My confusion with the plot isn’t helped by the fact that the woman that is supposed to (I think) be working for the American government can’t speak English very well. For example, here are just a few of her lines spoken in English;
“There’s some serious matters. He’s in great dangers. The terrorist have already known that he works for us.”
“Keep the police away from him. Let him be my job.”
“Is that confirm?”
“You’ve only got ten minuets to move your ass away from here. This fucking place is gonna be blown.”
“Shall I care? It’s my work.” (Which I think should have been “Why should I care, it’s my job.”
Even one as an added bonus that was subtitled incorrectly. “Tomorrow is the D-Day. There will be no more “Wajib” on the face of the Earth. I’m Sorry.” The assassin at the end of the film standing face to face (keep this in mind) with the woman that betrayed her say’s this exact line; “When you betrayed us two years ago, I made it out alive. You should know that, Claire.” Like what? I think it’s implied that you made it out alive because you are talking to her right now.
Seeing as how this is supposed to be a big action movie, let’s get to the critique of the actual action. I have seen my share of Thai action movies. The original Ong-Bak still stands as one of my favorite fighting films. So this movie coming out of basically the same camp had lot to live up to. While most of the scenes were hilarious and often OVERLY choreographed (the scene on the swing set is outrageously funny) there are some bright spots. A couple of the end fight scenes were well done. Though given that they all carried guns at one point it seemed pointless to be fighting with their swords or just their fists. The real bright spot in the fighting (and casting for that matter) was seeing Kessarin Ektawatkul fight. I have seen this girl before but can’t remember where. Though I noticed she is in a Thai rip off of “Charlie’s Angels” no lie called “Chai Lai Angels: Dangerous Flowers” so that has to be found at some point.
In all seriousness, watching this movie was great. Not because it was some master work of action and drama, but because it was so utterly confusing and full of random nonsense. There were several points during the film that had HUGE gaps in dialog and action where literally the actors were just sitting there looking at each other for no apparent reason. The end scene where the two assassin girls are in the ambulance discussing the “two shots” she has to get made me laugh so hard I was almost crying. The end of the movie almost ended with them talking about a tetanus shot. GENIUS.
Dave Attell has a joke “Have you ever made fun of someone so much, that you feel like you should call them up to thank them?” I almost feel the same way about this movie. It’s so utterly terrible in almost every way that I feel like I laughed so hard at it, it deserves a five star rating. If you have Netflix, and you really want to laugh at the sheer craziness of a movie, might I suggest The Vanquisher.
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