Before this summer I had never heard of “The VelociPastor” but after the trailer was shown to me I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it. The appeal of this film seems pretty easy to see on the surface, but what makes it great goes much deeper.
A somewhat newly anointed priest Doug Jones has just finished service for the day. As he walks outside he happily greets his parents just as their car explodes killing them both. Doug is shaken to the very core of his religious beliefs and seeks counsel from the other priest, and friend, in his church. Father Stewart suggests that Doug travel where he thinks God will not follow, if he finds him there, then you’ll know he’s within Doug. Doug takes this to heart and travels to China. While on a walk through the forest, Doug encounters a Chinese villager that has been shot with an arrow. Before she dies she hands Doug a large mysterious tooth. As he (presumably) tries to escape the woman’s killer he cuts himself with the tooth and passes out. He awakens to the realization that he is home and Father Stewart asks if he has had the same dream again. He had, but was it a dream?
After Doug returned from China he finds that not only did the trip revitalize his faith, but it has awoken something inside of him. He feels empty, or more accurately, he feels hungry. Doug runs from the church in obvious pain. Deep within the park, he screams in agony and begins to change, to morph into something other than human. Somewhere nearby Doug, a hooker is being held up at gun-point Her assailant wants money, but what he gets is eviscerated by the Velocipastor. Carol (the hooker) realizes that Doug has a gift and she convinces him to use this gift for good and cleaning up the world one meal at a time.
Once again, there is always one movie that sneaks up on me and surprises the hell outta me as something totally worth watching. The Velocipastor is exactly that, a surprise, and totally worth seeing. Shot on a budget of just $35k it went from film school goof to a full-blown indie/cult hit. Making a movie on such a small budget is hard enough but making one that somehow is both terrible and wonderful at the same time. Heavily influenced by grind-house movies that came before it, Velocipastor is full of blood, questionable acting, and more than its fair share of WTF moments.
Where this movie really shines is in the world it has created. Never once is there a wink and nod to how stupid it’s premise is. The characters all take every bit of the moment to moment actions with a completely serious tone. It would have been easy to dismiss this movie as “one of those” in terms of being stupid for stupidity’s sake, but it’s really not. There are moments while watching this that things spiral out of control, but not a single character acknowledges it. Everything is just accepted as just the way it is and the film moves on.
There is so much care put into being uncaring in the film’s overall composition, and that is truly what makes it shine for me personally. As an example, during a flashback, Father Stewart is played by himself and not a younger version even though it presumably takes place 40 years earlier. Ideas are introduced right up until the final scenes that are never explained, and I don’t want them to be.
Almost overnight this movie went from being completely unknown to me to be pretty high on my list of “must-see” recommendations for friends. I know I have said it before, but The Velocipastor, more than any other film I’ve said this about in the past, feels like one that my friends and I would have made. I am so completely happy to have it on my list. Also, full disclosure, stay tuned for a couple special surprises involving this film and this site. Until then, take the time and seek this one out to watch it. It’s totally worth seeing.
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