Review: “Zombeavers”
- Scott
- Oct 3, 2015
- 2 min read
It’s a movie about beavers that then become zombies and kill people. I mean, from the title alone, I already know what I’m getting into, right?
Bill Burr and another doofus are driving down the road delivering some sort of chemicals in the backwoods of anywhere USA. Not paying attention to where he is driving while texting, Bill hits a deer. This impact knocks a tank loose from the truck that then falls into the river. This tank then floats down river (as the credits roll) and stops at a beaver dam. The tank then begins to spray a neon green substance all over the dam and the beavers themselves.
Mary, Zoe and Jenn are out for a road trip to get away from the the boys and more importantly for Jenn to forget about her spat with her boyfriend Sam. The girls arrive at Mary’s family cabin in the woods and they immediately discover the worst; They have no cell coverage, no wifi, no use for their phones period. The girls decide to take a dip in the lake and work on their tan. As they swim, they discover a beaver dam (yes, you guessed it, the same one) and want to see the beavers. Since they are in the wilderness, a bear shows up, but luckily, Smyth shows up and scares it away, as well as the girls.
Beavers then attack the girls… look, this isn’t a complicated plot here.
Zombeavers is not meant to be taken the least bit seriously. Which is good, because it is just nonsense. I mean… Zombie-Beavers. The movie does suffer from one thing that a LOT of horror movies involving teens (as most of the good ones do) and this is the dialog. No, I’m not looking for some deep conversations here, but they always leave me feeling conflicted. Did the writer intentionally write the dialog so that I am meant to hate the characters, or is the writing meant to mimic actual dialog of teens, and I just end up feeling old? I don’t really know the answer.
However, Zombeavers is stupid and fun. There’s a lot of gory deaths, a ridiculous premise, boobs, and there are actual laughs to be had. Oh and there is a legit “stinger” at the end. If you start watching a movie titled “Zombeavers” and are disappointed by the contents, you really have no one to blame but yourself.
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